Today I remembered why I used to date the way I did. Why I wouldn’t let myself get emotionally attached. Because coming outside of yourself & realizing that things aren’t what you fantasize about sucks. But Im a big girl & I need to grow up & move on & go to Disneyland :)

I need to stop complaining about being single & how no one likes me. For the most part I’m not in a relationship because, I guess I don’t really want to be. & if I did, I wouldn’t push guys away like I do. But if that was the case & wasn’t so picky & didn’t push them away I’d probably be with someone I didn’t entirely feel comfortable with & wouldn’t be happy. I’m in no hurry to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same way I do about them or vise versa. So I need to shut up & just enjoy what I have instead of acting like a child.